Some women have to cope with a miscarriage after coming to love their baby and after bonding with him. Let’s take the case of Yaa Agyemang, for example. She was looking forward to have her next baby, although she had one other child.
“Kofi Mensah was a baby who kicked as though he was a professional soccer player. He kept me awake at night with his kicking and I often told him to be patient, for the time to play for Accra Great Olympics had not arrived yet. I can still remember his first little kicks, like gentle, loving nudges. Each time he moved, my heart burned with love for him. I knew him so well that I could feel his pain and his joy,” Yaa says.
Unfortunately for Yaa, Kofi turned over violently one night and was pronounced dead the next morning.
If you are one of the women who have suffered a miscarriage, how do you cope with a miscarriage?
1. Deal with Anger
You may feel angry with the doctors and nurses because you may think they did not do enough to save your baby. Thinking in such a manner will only make you bitter which will only worsen your emotional condition and make you feel miserable.
Right after the miscarriage, talk to a friend or family member you trust. Tell him or her about how you feel, about your fears, worries, anger and so on. This will help to free you of the destructive effects of bottling everything inside you and it will make you feel emotionally relieved. This is an excellent way to cope with anger after a miscarriage.
2. Do Not Let Other People Tell You How to React
Often when a person suffers a misfortune or tragedy, people are quick to give all sorts of advice. They may tell you to stop crying when you are mourning the loss of your baby, or tell you to show more grief when they see you look happy.
Everyone has his way of handling a big disappointment. Thus, be comfortable about however you choose to deal with the misfortune. If you feel like crying, cry your heart out. On the other hand, if you are strong enough not to feel too disappointed about the loss, be joyful and feel content with yourself. Do not let those around you dictate to you how you should respond to the miscarriage. This is the best way to cope with having a miscarriage.
Exercising is one thing you can do to cope with a miscarriage. This activity will make your body release a group of chemicals known as endorphins which can make you feel calm, relaxed, and at peace with yourself so that you will not be too worried. It is a great way to cope with anxiety after a miscarriage.
Furthermore, exercising will help to keep you occupied so that you will not think about the misfortune too much. To make your periods of exercising more interesting, play your favorite music while you exercise to put you in a good mood.
Here is an easy exercise you can do at home to make you feel relaxed.
- Lie on your bed and breathe in deeply. Then, breathe out.
- Tighten your toe muscles, then the muscles of your legs.
- Keep on tightening all the muscles in your body, then, finally, clench your fingers.
- Slowly, relax all the muscles you have tightened. Let the feeling that you are relaxing creep up through your whole body.
- Reverse the order of the exercise by first tightening the muscles of your fingers and then proceeding to tighten the muscles of your arms, abdomen and so on.
- Breathe in deeply again at the end of the exercise, then breathe out.
Do this exercise early in the morning when you wake up and also in the evening before you have your bath.
4. Eat the Right Foods
One good way to cope with miscarriage depression is to eat foods that can help to keep you in the right mood. Certain foods can help you to feel good about yourself as well as help you to fight the depression that may want to attack you. Some of these foods are: dark green leafy vegetables, Avocados, berries, and oranges. Therefore, eat a lot of these foods after you have the miscarriage and you will feel great so that you can get on with life.
God comforts those who look to Him for emotional strength when they face tragedy and suffering. He has got the track record and so can help you to deal with your miscarriage. He is the God who strengthened Job when the latter experienced tragedy. He is the God who strengthened Naomi when she lost her husband and two sons.
Pour out your heart to Him in prayer and seek His support. You can pray a prayer such as, “Dear God, I am very sad that my baby died. I am so hurt and disappointed. But Lord, I must going on living. Please help me to cope with the miscarriage pain. Give me grace so that I can continue with my life. Please give me strength to cope with this miscarriage loss. Please help me to have joy in spite of the situation because I know there is hope for tomorrow, as you say in Your Word. Heal my emotional pain and help me to think good and positive thoughts. Amen.”
Dealing with the disappointment of losing the baby, keeping yourself physically active, and eating foods that will help you to fight depression are all good ways to cope with a miscarriage. In addition, look beyond your circumstances and remind yourself that, with God’s help, you can have another baby. Let that thought encourage you to forget the loss and to keep on living.
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