Pix. 1. A good father creates a loving home for his children
A Definition of a Good Father
“What makes a good father?” one might ask. Well, I think a good father is a married man with a son or daughter who provides his children’s material needs as well as provides his children with the emotional and psychological support they need to be able to develop into well-balanced individuals.
Of course, there are many other things besides those mentioned above that can describe who a good father is. In this article, however, I want to look at just three of the characteristics of a good father so that young fathers who aspire to be good fathers, or fathers who know they are not good fathers, can use these characteristics as a yardstick to judge themselves and to improve their parenting skills.
So, what are these 3 characteristics?
1. He Acknowledges His Child’s Feelings
Adults tend to overlook this fact and treat their children as if they have no feelings and emotions. But children have feelings and emotions just as you do. Children need and want their fathers to know how they feel. If a father constantly contradicts his children when such feelings are expressed, the children will not feel comfortable opening up to you as their father.
In some cases, the child will even start to doubt his or her ability to feel and think for himself or herself. Children generally tend to express their thoughts and emotions in extreme terms.
As a parent who wants to be a good father of a family, be swift to hear what your children have to say, but be slow to speak, and be slow to get angry. Do not deny their feelings or stop them from talking. That is what will make you a good father. In addition, your children will find it easier to trust you and you will be their role model.
When your children have a problem, let them pour out their hearts to you. Only afterwards should you correct them. Children are far more likely to accept counsel if they feel that the parent truly understands them and the difficulties they face.
2. He Works Hard
When you bring children into the world, it is your responsibility to provide them with food, clothing, somewhere to lay their heads, pay their school fees and see to it that they do not have to shoulder the responsibilities of adults too early in life. Therefore, you have to make sure that you have a job to do at any point in time.
If your job is not bringing in enough money, then you may have to do more jobs so that you can take care of your children. In such a situation, consider doing online jobs and work from home jobs during your leisure hours or on weekends instead of going to a bar with friends or going to watch a ball game. A good father shoulders the responsibilities of taking care of his children and makes that his number one priority instead of socializing.
Not only does he work hard himself, but a good father also inculcates the habits of hard work and thrift in his children so that when they grow up they will be responsible adults capable of living responsible independent lives.
3. He Creates a Loving Home
Everybody in this world wants to be loved and cared for. So do children. Children need love, care, and attention. When they do not receive the love they need, they wither psychologically and emotionally. In the 1950’s, anthropologist M.F. Ashley Montagu wrote: “What the human organism requires most for its development is a nutriment of love; the source of virtually all health is in the experience of love, especially within the first six years of life.’’
Modern researchers echo Montagu’s conclusion that “children suffer serious crippling effects when exposed to an inadequate diet of love.”
One good characteristic of a good father is that he creates conditions in the home for his children to see that he loves them. A good father will do his best to provide his children with quality entertainment in a loving manner so that they will feel he cares about them. For example, if a man wants to be a good father, he will sacrifice some of his time, sometimes, so that he can go home and play with his children for them to feel connected to him emotionally.
There are a lot of other things a man who wants to be a good father can do to entertain his children so that he can bond better with them. Here are a few of them:
- Have dates with your daughter so that you can teach her how to handle men. Treat her like a lover when you have these dates with her. This training will be useful when men start developing a romantic interest in her, or when she begins to feel attracted to men.
- A good father makes time for his daughter and watches movies together with her sometimes so that he can point out some pitfalls in life his daughter needs to be careful of.
- A good father will entertain his daughter with dance and songs when she is feeling down so that he can lift her spirits.
- A good father will sit down with his daughter, when the holidays are approaching, so that they will discuss vacation ideas: what she will do with herself during the vacation, whether she would like to travel abroad with him to see exciting countries and places, or whether she would prefer doing an internship so that she can be exposed to the world of work.
- A good father will sing a gospel song to his daughter in the evening before she retires for the day.
- A good father makes his daughter laugh when she is sad by cracking jokes to help drive away her sadness.
What About Your Son?
A man who desires to be a good father and his son may go to certain places together so that the man can exhibit fatherly care and spend quality time with his son:
- Take your son to see a soccer game of your favorite team so that he can also develop an interest in soccer.
- Take a walk at night with him so that you can teach him about life.
- Go to a beach with him on weekends and teach him how to swim.
- Teach your son how to fish in a lake close to where you live.
- A good father will take his son to a pizza joint and buy his son a pizza when the son scores high marks in the end of term examinations.
- A good father will teach his son how to write a poem to praise his mother (your wife) for bringing him up properly.
- A good father will give presents to his son on a regular basis so that he can teach the son how to show appreciation to his (the son’s) future wife.
- A good father shares stories of good fathers with his son to show his son how to become a good father when he grows up.
- A man who wants to be a responsible father watches movies with good father figures with his son when he can find the time so that he will make his son see how good fathers behave
In addition to the activities above, playing basketball together at home, gardening, watching thrillers together, or together helping your wife in the kitchen (so that your son can learn how to support his future wife in household chores) are all great things a good father and son can do as hobbies.
If you want to be a good father, you must not ignore the fact that your children also have feelings, you must do your best to provide your children with their basic needs, and you must also entertain them. All these things will help you to earn the love and respect of your children and, ultimately, you will be a very happy man.
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